Erudite concepts

If you're not familiar with the work of Boswell D. Rabbitsmith, he's the erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently to most of us. He also makes his living as a comedian by the name of Steve Wright. Here are some of his gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

10 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.