Zen Unwisdom

Words to live by...

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk, that's the time to do it.
4. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
7. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
8. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
9. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
10. There are two theories about how to win when arguing with women. Neither one works.
11. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
12. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.