Monday, 21 November 2011

Happy Monday - The Miracle of Toilet Paper

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds' he says.

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

'How long will this take?' I ask.

'They will grow larger over a period of years' my husband replies.

I stop. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?' I say.

Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your bum, didn't it?"

He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy he may even walk again - although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

Stupid, stupid man


  1. Which reminds me, a good friend worked in Libya a few years back, many more actually, and in of the Colonels more excitable moments he banned the import of Toilet Paper.

    Friend said that idea, like so many, did not last long.

  2. After your last post this is a case of from the sublime to the ridiculous. I would never have had the nerve even to post this!

  3. Dad, with some of our Government's decisions I shouldn't be surprised to find them banning toilet paper imports in the near future.

  4. Crikey, you got my attention with that first sentence.



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