Must just send a quick text...

I was....

What is the third greatest lie?

For no apparent reason I was thinking the other day of one of my former staff from years gone by. A noted procrastinator, he would always respond to my question of when something would be ready with “Wednesday”. He did this automatically without even bothering to think what the question had been! I recall telling him one day that there were three great lies in the world:-

The cheque’s in the post;

Ready Wednesday;

And ….

I can’t for the life of me recall what the third one was.

Thoughts that spring to mind and / or were suggested by Googling the issue are:-

I’m working late tonight, Darling;

Of course, I love you;

Of course, I’ll respect you in the morning;

..But we can still be friends;

It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing;

I'm from the government, and I am here to help you;

(One for our mechanic) It's supposed to make that noise;

(for the weatherman) Tomorrow will be bright and sunny;

(for Tesco) This fish is fresh;

(and one for Jo) Then take a left. You can't miss it.

But none of those was my original third greatest lie. Any suggestions?

A less usual cup of coffee

One of the less usual 'cups' of coffee that GB and I have had recently (or ever) was when we made an emergency loo stop at the petrol station in Uig last week.

It involved serving one self from a machine that had a six stage instruction menu.

Fortunately GB is quite good at understanding these things.  Must be something to do with how widely he's travelled.

Rather to my surprise,  my hazlenut coffee was most pleasant and had it been served to me by a waiter / waitress in a cup I should have given it high marks out of ten.  As it was, it tasted good and gave us a crossword break - what more can one ask for?

Happy Monday - Now there’s a funny thing…

“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” ~Charles Schulz

“If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?” ~Author Unknown

"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships." - Gilda Radner

"There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and.." - Brad Ramsey

"Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy." - Michelle Pfeiffer

"Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest.” - Neil Kinnock

"Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog." - Unknown

"A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be." - Unknown

"If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?" - Unknown

"Anyone seen in a bus over the age of 30 has been a failure in life." - Loelia, Duchess of Westminster

“Who says ‘nothing is impossible’. I've been doing nothing for years.” ~Author Unknown

“After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.” ~ P.J. O'Rourke

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like 'What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up.'" - Lenny Bruce

"Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil--and you'll never get a job working for a tabloid." - Phil Pastoret

"Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, and disposable." - Mrs. White