A few funnies for your Friday –

Firstly, thanks to Canadian Chickadee for a quote of the day and the ultimate computing question:-

Quote for the day: "I don't believe in astrology. I'm a Sagittarius. We're sceptical."-- Arthur C. Clarke

If I'm supposed to back up my discs, how do I put my computer in reverse???

Then there’s one of the best lines from an episode of ‘Bargain Hunt’. At the beginning of the programme Tim Wonnacott asks the members of each couple what they collect. On this episode the woman mentioned what she collected and when the husband was asked he responded “The receipts from what she collects!” Oh, how I can identify with that!

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.


I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.


A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not mere coincidence that six of the last seven Prime Ministers were potty trained….

After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.' -- Larry Brown

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

My wife said I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.

I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. 

I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

And some questions with no sensible answer:-

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


How many weeks are there in a light year?


If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?


If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?


If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?


If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?


If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

and a really corny one for my librarian friends -
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?