Sunday, 26 August 2007


While downloading the Times crossword yesterday I came across BabyBarista.

It is a fictional Blog - being an account of a pupil barrister undergoing the trials of pupillage at the English Bar. The entry for August 21, 2007 was most amusing -

It was Old Smoothie who pointed out to me months ago that medical records are littered with coded acronyms. In-jokes for the medics who don’t dream that those same records might one day end up in a court of law. The one he was at pains to explain was an entry he had spotted which said, “TUBE”. Apparently this was very commonly used in the past and refers to a “totally unnecessary breast examination.” Then there’s “NFN” or “normal for Norfolk” which refers, perhaps unfairly, to that particular county’s reputation for in-breeding. Curiously, the Scots apparently use Fife instead of Norfolk. One that you’d hope not to see on the record of anyone you are fond of is “TF BUNDY” which though I’ll spare you the full details basically stands for “totally [finished] but unfortunately not dead yet”. Oh, and of course, there’s “LOBNH” which is “lights on but nobody’s home”.

Well, that was all certainly an eye-opener for me. However, it doesn’t stop there as there’s also plenty to be gleaned from the medico-legal reports themselves. They’re often full of innuendo and you don’t have to think very hard to work out, for example, that when a male doctor fancies a patient he calls her “this attractive lady” or when she couldn’t fit through the door he describes her as “somewhat large”. However, today a doctor outdid himself.

Under marital status he wrote: “Single. Right-handed.”

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