How to sleep like a Cat

1. The Full Situp  To achieve the full situp, you must begin with the genuine intention of exercising your abs and promptly fall asleep midway through the task. This position is extremely advanced and not recommended for amateur sleepers.

2. The Awkward Spoon    The goal here is not so much intimacy as it is the socially uncomfortable sharing of a physical space with someone. Bonus points if your arm falls asleep but you're too embarrassed to move it.

  3. The Semicircle   Tuck your tail between your legs and imagine that you are an omelet.

4. The Sunbather    The trick is to look like someone who is acting comfortable whilst also appearing extremely uncomfortable. Let's take this excellent opportunity to coin the term "ZZZmeta-comfortable."

 

 5. The Double Bed   You will need a partner for this one. The goal is not so much comfort as an expression of sheer, unadulterated greed.

 

 6. The Half-Box   Any old box will do, but two of your feet - preferably on opposite sides of your body - must remain outside the container at all times.

7. The Backstroker  Do not even attempt unless you have tiny, tiny, precious little legs.

 
 8. The Sleeping Baby  Find a baby. Imitate the baby.

9. The Fur Pile  For this, you will need at least three friends who are not averse to your sleeping on them.

10. The Full-Box  Just get your whole damn body in there no matter what it takes. Be the box.

11. The Drunken Radiator   Just because you are obviously some kind of gin-addled hobo doesn't mean you can't be nice and warm.

(I don't know whose photos these are - they were in one of those round-robin e-mails. There'll be another set of them soon.)

J is for - Jumping for Joy

 It's Wednesday - that means another letter of the alphabet.  Today's letter is J.


I'll start with a Juicy strawberry -

And how about Jackdaws  

 
These Jackdaws are doing a Ballet.

Or a beautiful Jellyfish.

 Or this Jewel-like Chrysolna Beetle nameed after the semi-precious stone chrysolite.

And J is for Joke - I assume that's what caused this reaction - 

If you would like to see more examples of how the letter J has been handled by the Alphabet Wednesday crew please visit the ABC link site.

Fabrice - an update

From the BBC -

Fabrice Muamba "has been able to recognise family members and respond to questions appropriately", his club Bolton and hospital have jointly said. He can "breathe independently" but remains in intensive care after a cardiac arrest on Saturday.

A joint statement by the London Chest Hospital and Bolton said he continues "to show signs of improvement". It adds: "His condition remains serious and our medical staff will continue to monitor and treat him."

His fiancee, Shauna Magunda, the mother of his son Joshua, posted on Twitter on Monday evening: "All your prayers are working people thank you so so much. Every prayer makes him stronger."

Odds and Sods

And the answer usually is ‘Blog’ even if I haven’t got much to say…

ODD:-

Why should one never trust a duck? Looking for something else I discovered a number of references to not trusting ducks. Why not? Does anyone know?

SOD:-

Our boiler is still not fixed and the weather has turned colder.

The day sport became irrelevant

Today was the first Formula One Grand Prix of the season. Kimi Reikkonen returned to the fray which meant there were six former champions on the grid. Also back was a black and gold Lotus livery – it was wonderful to see it. I shan’t say who won in case you have yet to watch it.

But in the UK all sport has taken a back seat to humanity this weekend. In the F A Cup Quarter Final match between Tottenham Hotspur (Spurs) and Bolton Wanderers one of the Bolton players, 23 year old Fabrice Muamba, collapsed and required CPR on the pitch in front of a crowd of 30,000 and millions of TV viewers. Medics spent six minutes trying to resuscitate the former England under-21 international on the field after he fell to the ground with no other players around him. Medical staff gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to Muamba, who was born in the Democratic Republic of Congo (formerly Zaire) but moved to England at the age of 11. They also tried to revive him with a defibrillator.

The 23-year-old remains critically ill in the intensive care unit of the heart at-tack centre at the London Chest Hospital but that is better than most of us anticipated after watching the event. I’m pleased to say ESPN had the decency not to show any close-up pictures of the event itself and concentrated on showing the reactions of the crowd and other players which was bad enough. The whole crowd, supporters of both sides, chanted Fabrice’s name as the paramedics and doctors worked. If anything could bring a man back from the brink it would be the genuine response of everyone present. After Fabrice had been taken to hospital the game was abandoned. No one – players, officials nor crowd was in a condition to carry on. Football would have been irrelevant after what had happened.

It’s only a fortnight since I quoted Bill Shankly - "Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that." It was not meant seriously and, even if it had been, yesterday’s events would have refuted it for ever. Whatever religion / philosophy you hold a prayer or thought would be appreciated by his fiancée and family.