Emo Philips Quotes

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.

People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi.

Emo Philips